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There has been some recent discussion on how to talk to a woman without being a creep. I think this is something that we really need to be talking about, and it’s something that dudes often ask me when I talk to them about street harassment. They say things like, “But if I think a girl is really hot, how can I approach her without her thinking I’m an asshole?” I figured I’d throw my hat into the ring and share the advice I often offer my friends.
Most men aren’t going to like my thoughts on this. Maybe I’m a little jaded from years of being approached by strange men in public places, but I generally feel it’s almost never appropriate to walk up to a woman that you don’t know on the street (or in a coffee shop or on the train or in line for a concert) and start hitting on her. So that’s really my advice: just don’t do it. I know, I know. You’re thinking “but what if…?” And to that I say, JUST DON’T. Seriously, don’t. Most women do not appreciate being interrupted or hassled or harassed when they’re just trying to go about their day.
I know that some men out there will think that this advice doesn’t apply to them. They are different. They are owed the attention of any women that they find attractive and are not going to take my advice to JUST DON’T DO IT. So I’ll try to give some advice to the dude who is going to continue approaching women that they don’t know, despite the fact that I’ve told them it’s really not appreciated.
There you have it. My advice on how to approach a woman in the public sphere: DON”T. But if you must, respect her boundaries and her wishes and back off if she’s not into it. It’s really that simple.
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