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Walking alone at night, and a dude says, “Hola mami, estas bella.”
A girl was with a group of friends at a large bar. Her friends all went up to the bar, leaving her to guard their table. An older man, who had been leering at several of my friends and myself but had not approached us, sat in the booth with and started talking to her. She was clearly uncomfortable, but trying to be nice/tolerant to avoid an altercation. I noticed and, despite my boyfriend’s request not to get involved, asked her if she would like to leave the table and join our group of friends talking. She quickly said yes, got up and stood near some of the guys in our group. The man glared at me, but went back to his booth without any more interaction.
I don’t have a car and often have to walk alone at night. When I’m harassed I am usually too afraid to talk back – I’m usually just silent. It’s inspiring to know that others do talk back, and one day I hope to be able to do that.no comments
I am harassed several times per day. I live in Boston to go to school and I am from the Bronx, which is not the best area of New York. I am barely ever harassed in New York. That’s why Boston is so disgusting to me.
There was one time in particular that really scared me. I was in CVS on the corner of Washington and Boylston, and I was looking in the makeup section. All of a sudden, two men approached me on either side, and asked where I’m from, told me that I’m pretty, asked if I did “favors,” etc. I got myself out of the corner that they tracked me to and found my guy friend–thankfully he was there–and I walked to the cash register with him. He saw the men and told them to back off, and they did. Now, I never go down Boylston to CVS alone. I am a proud, independent feminist, and I do not want to be threatened right by my school. I do not want to fear and imagine horrible things, but after that day, I just kept thinking about it.
That is only one example of the harassment I get in Boston. I was harassed once while I was on the phone with my grandmother. Another time, I passed through the Common–in broad daylight–and was followed to the intersection of Tremont and Boylston, with constant cat calls and derogatory phrasing. When I ignore them, they curse at me. When my mother came to visit me, she got harassed and saw me get harassed. She stated that she has never seen anything like this, and she has lived in the Bronx her entire life.
This is absolutely horrible and needs to be stopped. Let’s show them who’s boss.
This happened a year and a half ago. I was visiting a friend in Central, and left to go home. This sketchy middle aged man was eyeing me, and I chose to ignore it. When I switched to the Green line, waiting for the B, I noticed he had followed me. I shrugged it off, but started feeling really creeped out. I got on the train and sat down at a seat. He followed me and stood in front of me. I really started freaking out, because he was objectifying me and looking at me like a piece of meat. As the train pulled up to Kenmore, I realized it was my last chance to get off and report it to someone at a physical station. I didn’t because I had hoped he would just get off and it would be some misunderstanding. Instead, he chose to sit directly across from me. A couple got on, and he started eyeing this girl (she was a very pretty Asian girl, I am also Asian, so I had considered that he had some Asian fetish or something). She stood 2 seats-ish down from me with her boyfriend and her boyfriend seemed aware of the guy’s creepiness. I guess I seemed like a more vulnerable target, being alone, because the next thing he did was he got up and acted drunk and would continuously fall on me, trying to grope me. I pushed him off several times before the woman sitting next to me told him off for his behavior, and he mouthed off at her and stood up, staring me down. I was really afraid at this point, and tried to move to the front to talk to the driver/conductor. No one would let me through, and people were acting as if they couldn’t see what was going on. One person even said I should just wait until people left (they were literally standing within earshot of all of this happening, and I was horrified that they wouldn’t even let me through to speak to the driver). I tried calling my friend, who lived near where I lived so I could meet up with her when I got off the train, and got no answer. I frantically texted, and got nothing. At this point my blood went cold and I was freaking out. Eventually we got to my stop, and I ran home. At the time, I lived very close to the intersection at Harvard Ave, so naturally, it scared me that he followed me off. He just stood there at the intersection, watching me. I ran to my apartment, peered out the window, hyperventilating, and called three of my friends. My best friend was dorming at Northeastern with no car, so he couldn’t do much of anything. My friend that I had just visited took a taxi to my apartment to make sure I was okay, and the third friend came with her boyfriend to make sure this scumbag would fuck off. At this point, I’m sobbing incoherently on the phone in the dark in my bedroom. He’s gone by the time these three arrived. I slept over with one of them, but at this point in the incident, I’m terrified of being at home because my roommate was gone for the summer. I lived with my friend for two weeks before feeling comfortable enough to go back to my apartment.
I hope that by sharing this, if you see harassment on a train, you will help the other person and not pretend nothing is going on. This kind of harassment is traumatizing, and no one, man or woman, should have to undergo this kind of experience. Things like this have happened to me since then, though not to this extreme, and I hope everyone knows this is absolutely unacceptable. The worst part is, everyone seems to be affected by the bystander effect where they believe that someone else will take care of the problem, and they don’t need to. This shouldn’t be the case. Everyone should be able to feel safe.
I was running on the bike path. A young guy, probably in the 18-22 age range, biked up to me, pulled his bike alongside me, and slowed down to my running speed. He made a honking motion with his arm and shouted “Okay, boys, you know the drill!” then pulled slightly in front of me.
Two other guys around the same age pulled up their bikes, one directly behind me, one behind/alongside me, so that I was more or less boxed in, and all three of them started making loud monkey-whooping sounds.
They did this for maybe 15 seconds, while I just kept running at the same speed and didn’t acknowledge them. The first guy then shouted “All right guys, let’s go on to the next one!” and then they biked off and I kept running.
I didn’t have a phone on me and so couldn’t photograph them. It was kind of dark, but it looked like the first one had lightish hair and was wearing a red cap.
I got on the train at Boston University East going toward Park Street and walked toward the back of the train. I noticed a man talking to a younger looking teen girl who was trying to lean away from him and looking uncomfortable. I asked her if she was okay and she said “yeah” and the guy said “she’s fine she likes me.” She said, “I don’t really want to talk,” and he kept trying to chat with her. I said, “You need to stop talking to her now.” He repeated, “No, she likes me.” I placed myself in front of him and he was quiet for a few stops.
He turned to mocking me (I’m trans) by saying, “You a dyke? You look like a dyke. I thought you was a man.”
When he again tried to start up a conversation with her I said, “You need to back the fuck off right now.” The person sitting on the other side of the girl he was harassing got off and the girl immediately moved over. He started to move next to her again and I sat down between them. The girl said thanks. I stayed on until she got off the train and made sure he didn’t follow her.
I don’t get as much street harassment as I used to since transitioning but I absolutely think all men, trans and cis, need to step in and let other men know when their behavior is unacceptable and/or promotes an unhealthy, unsafe or inequitable culture.
I was exiting the Downtown Crossing T stop on 10/24/13 around 9 pm at Washington and Winter and walking towards the Silver Line stop at Temple Place. A guy who was probably 16 or 17 noticed me as soon as I exited the train station and began barking at me. He followed me the entire way to the Silver Line stop (about a block or two), barking the whole time. Thankfully the bus was sitting at the stop and I got right on and was away from him.
I was walking through Central Square and had headphones in. Apparently some guy who was hanging out with his friends started telling me I was cute or something. I wasn’t really paying attention. Next thing I knew he was in my face, following me, saying violent stuff like: “didn’t you hear me you bitch, I told you you were cute. Don’t fucking ignore me you cunt, etc…” There was a girl in his group, about my age, who came over and grabbed his arm and said: “dude, can you cool it?” and pulled him away. He continued to yell at and berate me as she got him to sit down again. No one else in his group did anything.
I was walking home from my office at Harvard Business School and there was backed up traffic on the road due to construction near Harvard Square. It was bright daylight and a long line of cars were inching along. I had to walk past what felt like a gauntlet. I peered out of my sunglasses and noticed men leering obviously at me. One man yelled out of his van “You just made my DAY” while his friend laughed. A few cars down an old man made odd animal-like hissing noises at me. By this point I was shaking and I still had 10 more minutes of street to walk. The worst part was that I had to endure the catcalling for the entire walk, because the traffic literally was not moving. I was afraid of saying anything because the men could easily get out of the car if they wanted to. I was wearing high heels and couldn’t run easily. When a man in a third car hollered something obscene at me, I started to cry.
I just wanted to go home. There was no other way to go. When I told my dad a few weeks later what had happened, he asked what I was wearing. I told him I was wearing a business suit. He then suggested that maybe it was a compliment. It hurt that my dad was trying to justify their behavior (even if it was out of a sense of helplessness and denial).